Slow Down Everyone, You're Moving Too Fast
In which I only learn how to do this when forced to, but hey ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Slow down everyone, you’re moving too fast…
Apparently I’ve been trying to slow down for the past 10 years—I found a post on my old blog (which I think it’s safe to say is now officially retired) from 2012 where I was trying to slow down…because I was sick and my body forced me to.
(And then another post from 2014 with the same title because clearly I’m super creative…and this bonus little gift now of finding a comment from my mom.)
If you follow me on Instagram, you know I’ve been having chronic headaches for the past two+ years—basically since I moved to LA? I have tried MYRIAD things in my quest to eliminate them, including this epic thing for your neck. They’re mostly tension headaches, rather than migraines, so while they’re not as severe as migraines, they’re harder to treat because most of the treatments for headaches are for migraines. The pain’s not bad but it’s really the associated brain fog and fatigue that get to me.
But the fact that they’re tension headaches…means…they’re from tension. Both emotional tension and physical tension—my shoulders/neck/jaw are tight AF from poor posture. I have a physical therapist (whom I absolutely adore, and who weirdly has the same birthday as me???) who helps with the physical part of it, but the other day she said to me, “Theodora, so much of this stems from stress…including the stress you put on yourself.”
She forwarded me a newsletter that unfortunately I can’t find a version I can link to, but this post is similar to it—talking about self-love and nutrition but it obviously applies to…everything.
Slow down everyone, you’re moving too fast…
Apparently I’ve been trying to slow down for the past 10 years—I found a post on my old blog (which I think it’s safe to say is now officially retired) from 2012 where I was trying to slow down…because I was sick and my body forced me to.
(And then another post from 2014 with the same title because clearly I’m super creative…and this bonus little gift now of finding a comment from my mom.)
If you follow me on Instagram, you know I’ve been having chronic headaches for the past two+ years—basically since I moved to LA? I have tried MYRIAD things in my quest to eliminate them, including this epic thing for your neck. They’re mostly tension headaches, rather than migraines, so while they’re not as severe as migraines, they’re harder to treat because most of the treatments for headaches are for migraines. The pain’s not bad but it’s really the associated brain fog and fatigue that get to me.
But the fact that they’re tension headaches…means…they’re from tension. Both emotional tension and physical tension—my shoulders/neck/jaw are tight AF from poor posture. I have a physical therapist (whom I absolutely adore, and who weirdly has the same birthday as me???) who helps with the physical part of it, but the other day she said to me, “Theodora, so much of this stems from stress…including the stress you put on yourself.”
She forwarded me a newsletter that unfortunately I can’t find a version I can link to, but this post is similar to it—talking about self-love and nutrition but it obviously applies to…everything.
I don’t know about you, but the voice inside my head is kind of an asshole? It convinces me, among other things, that I should always be busy/productive, that I’m lazy, etc. If you have this little voice in your head, ask yourself: whose voice is this really? It’s likely a combination of society and someone in your life, whether that be a loved one, teacher, current or former boss, all of the above!
I also grew up with a dad who worked 60-70+ hour weeks running the family textile mill that my grandfather started, and a mother who didn’t work outside the home, but still always had a to-do list the length of her arm that she lived and died for. (Literally? I’m pretty sure she kept that list until she couldn’t any more.)
And I lived in NYC for 11 years/the East Coast for the first 36 years of my life. This is all to say that I inherently feel like I do not really know how to slow down. (Ummm, I also have an insatiable thirst for coffee, so there’s that????)
…until my body tells me to.
I was supposed to be spending this Labor Day in New York/New Jersey, seeing friends and family, and most importantly, going to the U.S. Open—my happy place! But my headaches have been getting worse lately, and after six hours on zoom on Thursday, my head was like “oh fuck no you are not getting on a red-eye and sleeping on a plane tonight.” So I pushed my flight until the next morning…
…when I woke up and my body was still like “lol NOPE.”
And wouldn’t you know…the second I canceled the flight, a little bit of the literal pressure lifted from my head. I was so tempted to use the time I had “back” to catch up on work*, or text friends to let them know I was in town and we should get together…and instead, I honored what my body was telling me to do on Friday and chilled the fuck out. I was about to write “I did not open my laptop,” but OK, that would be a lie. (But I only sent a few essential emails.)
*I could have sat down and worked until my head told me again to quit, but I realized I’d just end myself up in the same place, so I needed to treat the day like the legit sick day it was.
I stumbled upon the Needy podcast via a writer I adore, Nicole Antoinette, and found a great ep of Nicole talking about being a human who has needs…and that it’s:
1. OK to have needs (you might say OK, duh, reading this…AND you might also be ignoring your needs)
2. It’s OK if you are able to do less one day than another—that you can’t work (/or whatever it is) at the same level every day.
And these apply on the micro AND macro levels. I’m currently in a season where most of my exercise consists of nearly solely walking and yoga. Other than the headaches, I’m having a scattering of non-serious health issues that all correlate with extra inflammation in the body. RUNNING IS AWESOME (you know this if you follow me), but it may also lead to extra inflammation, and right now, my medical team and I are trying to reduce inflammation wherever possible.
(I’ve been using Parsley Health, functional docs, to try to work on some of this underlying stuff that more traditional docs might just throw pills at. This code gets you $150 off your membership, and, in full transparency, gets me an amazon gift card if you sign up.)
This was a really long way of saying I’m learning how to slow the fuck down—and to practice what I preached on Tina’s podcast about managing stress proactively. Our parasympathetic nervous systems deserve it, to get us out of chronic fight-or-flight mode and into the rest-and-digest mode (also known as feed and breed, which honestly sounds more fun), which essentially helps our bodies run more smoothly.
WHAT DO YOU DO TO SLOW THE FUCK DOWN? Comment below if you clicked through to read this or reply to me :)
I’m really kinda winging this newsletter to keep it fun. Which means I honestly don’t know when I’ll send it or if it will have any kind of narrow focus (though there will always be threads of mental health and self-care included), but I do have a few topics I’ve wanted to write about but not wanted to have to pitch or be edited…including the below. But let me know if you have any requests!
how to find a therapist (unsurprisingly, this is one of the questions I get asked most frequently and I want to put together a massive guide of resources)
ketamine—both some of the science-y stuff and also my own experience with getting ketamine treatment for depression
my egg-freezing from a few years ago
I haven’t found the best way to word this yet, but something along the lines of things I didn’t understand about therapy until I became a therapist
I’ve also wanted to use a newsletter to share some of my recent writing, so here you go:
Fun pieces I’m working on (I write both personal essays and reported/researched pieces):
how I’ve learned to manage my depression over the years
latest advances in depression treatment
what happens when I have “nothing” to say in therapy?
FINALLY, REALLY BURYING THE LEDE HERE,
If you’re in California, I’m taking on therapy clients! My strengths are in working with grief, depression and anxiety, but I’ve worked with a wide variety of issues at this point. You can hit reply if you or someone you know is looking or email me at theodora@therapywiththeodora.com.
I don’t know about you, but the voice inside my head is kind of an asshole? It convinces me, among other things, that I should always be busy/productive, that I’m lazy, etc. If you have this little voice in your head, ask yourself: whose voice is this really? It’s likely a combination of society and someone in your life, whether that be a loved one, teacher, current or former boss, all of the above!
I also grew up with a dad who worked 60-70+ hour weeks running the family textile mill that my grandfather started, and a mother who didn’t work outside the home, but still always had a to-do list the length of her arm that she lived and died for. (Literally? I’m pretty sure she kept that list until she couldn’t any more.)
And I lived in NYC for 11 years/the East Coast for the first 36 years of my life. This is all to say that I inherently feel like I do not really know how to slow down. (Ummm, I also have an insatiable thirst for coffee, so there’s that????)
…until my body tells me to.
I was supposed to be spending this Labor Day in New York/New Jersey, seeing friends and family, and most importantly, going to the U.S. Open—my happy place! But my headaches have been getting worse lately, and after six hours on zoom on Thursday, my head was like “oh fuck no you are not getting on a red-eye and sleeping on a plane tonight.” So I pushed my flight until the next morning…
…when I woke up and my body was still like “lol NOPE.”
And wouldn’t you know…the second I canceled the flight, a little bit of the literal pressure lifted from my head. I was so tempted to use the time I had “back” to catch up on work*, or text friends to let them know I was in town and we should get together…and instead, I honored what my body was telling me to do on Friday and chilled the fuck out. I was about to write “I did not open my laptop,” but OK, that would be a lie. (But I only sent a few essential emails.)
*I could have sat down and worked until my head told me again to quit, but I realized I’d just end myself up in the same place, so I needed to treat the day like the legit sick day it was.
I stumbled upon the Needy podcast via a writer I adore, Nicole Antoinette, and found a great ep of Nicole talking about being a human who has needs…and that it’s:
1. OK to have needs (you might say OK, duh, reading this…AND you might also be ignoring your needs)
2. It’s OK if you are able to do less one day than another—that you can’t work (/or whatever it is) at the same level every day.
And these apply on the micro AND macro levels. I’m currently in a season where most of my exercise consists of nearly solely walking and yoga. Other than the headaches, I’m having a scattering of non-serious health issues that all correlate with extra inflammation in the body. RUNNING IS AWESOME (you know this if you follow me), but it may also lead to extra inflammation, and right now, my medical team and I are trying to reduce inflammation wherever possible.
(I’ve been using Parsley Health, functional docs, to try to work on some of this underlying stuff that more traditional docs might just throw pills at. This code gets you $150 off your membership, and, in full transparency, gets me an amazon gift card if you sign up.)
This was a really long way of saying I’m learning how to slow the fuck down—and to practice what I preached on Tina’s podcast about managing stress proactively. Our parasympathetic nervous systems deserve it, to get us out of chronic fight-or-flight mode and into the rest-and-digest mode (also known as feed and breed, which honestly sounds more fun), which essentially helps our bodies run more smoothly.
WHAT DO YOU DO TO SLOW THE FUCK DOWN? Comment below if you clicked through to read this or reply to me :)
I’m really kinda winging this newsletter to keep it fun. Which means I honestly don’t know when I’ll send it or if it will have any kind of narrow focus (though there will always be threads of mental health and self-care included), but I do have a few topics I’ve wanted to write about but not wanted to have to pitch or be edited…including the below. But let me know if you have any requests!
how to find a therapist (unsurprisingly, this is one of the questions I get asked most frequently and I want to put together a massive guide of resources)
ketamine—both some of the science-y stuff and also my own experience with getting ketamine treatment for depression
my egg-freezing from a few years ago
I haven’t found the best way to word this yet, but something along the lines of things I didn’t understand about therapy until I became a therapist
I’ve also wanted to use a newsletter to share some of my recent writing, so here you go:
Fun pieces I’m working on (I write both personal essays and reported/researched pieces):
how I’ve learned to manage my depression over the years
latest advances in depression treatment
what happens when I have “nothing” to say in therapy?
FINALLY, REALLY BURYING THE LEDE HERE,
If you’re in California, I’m taking on therapy clients! My strengths are in working with grief, depression and anxiety, but I’ve worked with a wide variety of issues at this point. You can hit reply if you or someone you know is looking or email me at theodora@therapywiththeodora.com.